You can’t see every film in a year, no one person can, but there’s always 2015 to catch up with those you missed. Here’s the top 10 films of the year that we are sure you absolutely, probably, maybe missed at the cinema, and reasons to catch them later on.
Merry happy 2015.
10. Alfred & The Magic Elephant
A fun romp through the Crusades with Alfred Davenport (From 2011’s hit Davenport Detects) thrust back in time when he hops onto a magical elephant whilst on Safari. He never knew his holiday would become a vicious and bloody battle in the name of God but as ever Jude Law‘s hysterical comic timing mixed, this time, with the voice of Emma Stone as the magical elephant (Nelly, not to be confused with the music star who cameos and wrote the end rap for the film) made this one of the most delightfully silly films of the year. Despite multiple heads being lopped off in every frame, and more than one hanging/drawing/quartering scene during Act Two the film’s humour was never too adult, making it safe for kids to sit and listen, with specially provided “Eye Protectors” made for the film’s release to block images from children. Essentially a blindfold, this led to several controversial cases in-which children went missing after being led out with their Eye Protectors still on by folk who were not their parents. But hey, we all suffer for art as good as this.
9. The Golden Rose
A lot of festival films move on to Oscar glory, but those that don’t get noticed seem destined to fall by the way-side. The Golden Rose, about a woman who decides to grow her garden on the banks of a river during the gold rush, seemed lost amidst the high-concept, big-budget glossies like Birdman, Whiplash and The Gambler, but despite the lack of eyeballs on screen it was clear that writer/director Jeremiah Sonadad Villejuo‘s sophomore effort was as involving as 2013’s “My Father, My Mother, My Sister and My Brother: These Are The People In My Christmas Card Picture This Season”. Teaming up with that film’s ‘Mother’, Katherine Heigl, to create the role of a lifetime in ‘Melinda McAfee Maidstone’, the nearly-40 single woman in the world of manly men and golddiggers who fights the power of greed with the love of nature, only to be rewarded with a rose made entirely of gold, that lives, loves and learns to speak. The musical number in act three was full of heart and pathos, and those who saw will understand what I say when I write “When we choose to grow up, we sometimes choose to grow out as well”. Also, “Barbados? Ha!” amirite fans?
8. Scales Of Solitude (Scallen dé Aufenweightenbåchtstiüng, Das)
Foreign films are less likely to be seen, they can’t all be Pride!, but ambiguously European thriller Scales Of Solitude played into the hand of fans of cinema neatly as it took acting legend Oscar Winner Gerard Depardieu and cast him in the role of “Jurgen Solitude” a man who must lose 100 kilograms in a month or the scales he uses will blow up, and his wife will be killed. Shot verite, the film uses subtle computer-enhanced visuals along with forced perspective to make Jurgen’s weight slowly decrease over the course of the film, whilst Depardieu himself refused to train for the role or lose any weight whatsoever. Director Jan von Burgen Sprechen Latzon has now been headhunted to take over the Björn franchise based on the intensity and cinema-verite of this film, so expect The Björn Ültimación starring Jeremie Renoir in late 2015.
7. Heavy Gails
Sundance is always a great place to catch the next great American indie comedy, and 2014 was no different. Heavy Gails, from newcomer Lindsey Mandy Petersbrook, sees three young women, played by Jenny Geffen, Susan Holsbanks and John Travolta, dealing with their morbid obesity in a communal group setting, the three girls swiftly become good friends and work together to get to the sweet spot of ‘overweight’ and deal with men, jobs, money and lots of montages about them driving around and laughing whilst listening to an eclectic mix of tracks by The Pizza Underground. Shot on a mix of GoPros, 7Ds and iPhones the film is deeply personal, emotional and at times a laugh riot, we expect big things to come from these gals, but hopefully not as big as the Gails.
6. Heist School
Universal nailed the counter-programming summer season this year, and Heist School, one of their smaller outputs, was an effective blending of family comedy and intense heist thriller, as three Russian mobsters kill Jacob (Ty Simpkins)’s parents when they can’t pay protection money, so Simpkins gets his friends together, including Trophy Wife‘s Albert Tsai and a refurbished, CGI rendition of Jake Lloyd circa 1996, to plan a heist that’ll rob the Russian mob and their country of every coin, gun and drip of vodka they have left. Whilst I wouldn’t wish to spoil the glorious twists in store in act three, the hysterical segment where Lloyd’s character comes face-to-face with a Russian bootleg of The Phantom Menace titled “The No Anakin Cut” is one of 2014’s biggest delights. The film is now streaming on Netflix, so you have no excuse.
5. Tyler Perry’s Wait, Wait, Hold Up, I Got A Stitch
For the first time in a long time Tyler Perry‘s cinematic output has dropped the oppressive Christian moral messages and gone straight for the huge belly laughs, and Wait, Wait, Hold Up, I Got A Stitch is on fine funny form. Perry plays “Alexander Magistrate” a surgeon who is hit on the head and wakes up believing he’s a marathon runner in the Olympics. Without any kind of training he leaps head-first into the sports ceremony and deals with all issues in a way only a surgeon would (Expect bloody messes and lots of scalpels). Grisly yet gut-busting, Wait, Wait, Hold Up, I Got A Stitch is a simple film about the will of man, and an exceptionally funny one to boot. Stay through the credits for a scene where Alexander and Madea come face-to-face in the 1000 metres. Good Mornting to all.
4. Climax Change
The sex farce is in a deep decline but Climax Change wasn’t told, gleefully throwing in all the great moments of every ooh-er film about a couple who are trying to copulate all hours of the day, amidst the landscape of the polar ice-caps melting. Deeply raunchy but full of important information about the change in temperature of the Earth as well, you’ve never really known the truth about how sudden this past century has changed the world until you’ve seen a graph about it made using lube. If you like your sight gags then Climax Change is what you need, from the names of stores “Ann Summers Are Getting Hotter” and “WAL*MARTemperature Rising” to a great gag where Penny, played wonderfully by Illeana Douglas, confuses a condom with a weather balloon, and we see it floating around for the rest of the film. The most important comedy of the year, you’ll laugh and then recycle and tell your friends all the fascinating information they never knew about Earth’s slow destruction.
3. Stephen Sondheim’s Sacred Sasquatch Song
Acclaimed Broadway songsmith Stephen Sondheim met with acclaimed documentarian Errol Morris to take on the ultimate journey, Sondheim had written a song to call out to the mysterious bigfoot of the California forests and wanted to test his approach, to see if he could find the elusive and mythical figure. Doubling up as a cinematic biography on Sondheim and the legacy of Bigfoot, with talking heads from friends of both like John Lithgow, the film kept its cards to its chest as to whether Sondheim’s attempts proved fruitful or not and the last 20 minutes will make you gasp, laugh, cry and applaud. Morris’ true-crime narrative techniques take a step back for a more relaxed, earnest approach to human effort, akin to a Herzog doc in that manner, their bonding has clearly changed both their styles. It’s a cracking film that somehow lost itself in the mix of mad docs this season.
2. The Carnivore Cavalry
Jumping off the back of the success of The Hunger Games and Divergent, The Carnivore Cavalry saw another popular YA book turn into cinematic creation, alas without the same success monetarily. Charles Wiggerbunce, played impeccably by Spencer Breslin, is a young man with no direction in life who one day stumbles onto a traveling group of civil war re-enactors, keeping the past as the future dystopia with one leader forcing all teenagers into specific groups rules all. He escapes his future to change his ways and learn about the past, but when the men get lost and discover a taste for human flesh, Wiggerbunce has to choose to be a part of the monstrosity or venture out alone for 3 more books and 5 more films. An incredibly exciting remake of Ravenous for younger audiences, it just didn’t set the box-office alight. Casting Jeremy Jones again was probably a mistake.
1. Everything Is A-OK
A September action movie that was eclipsed by The Equalizer and The Maze Runner, Everything Is A-OK saw action helmer Renny Harlin take on the new genre of White House Action Films with a story that looks at a normal day for a secret service agent (Rainn Wilson) who stands and readies himself for action and violence to protect the leader of the free world (John Krasinski). A moment of almost-action occurs when Hollywood A-Lister Steve Carell (Steve Carell, unrecognisable in a meticulously crafted cameo) tries to shake the president’s hand and then doesn’t because he realises that they are in two different rooms, one in Los Angeles and the other in Washington D.C. Tensions are high throughout, and the film never lets up until the closing credits when our fears turn out to be unfounded. Sometimes there’s no terrorists to kill, but boy does it feel just as intense on days like this. Extraordinary cinema. The unrated cut is out on blu ray and Ultraviolet in January.
Oh, Reel Original 